Or How to Lose a Man in Ten Products
It’s safe to say that a black sixties flicked eye-liner or a lived-in smokey eye is my go-to beauty look which is why I love this makeup look for the Jean-Pierre Braganza ss15 ready-to-wear runway show. Dwight Schrute, a character from my all-time favourite TV series, The Office; An American Workplace once said that ‘The eyes are the groin of the face.’ If that’s the case, then I want to make sure my ‘windows to the soul’ aren’t impotent cavities of ocular blandness. For many, beauty is in the small things; a genuine smile; the twinkle of an eye; the little things that intoxicate and attract the beholder. Let me ask you but this. What if your smile induces small babies to tears? What if, when you attempt to ‘radiate happiness,’ a teenage mother on the train/bus threatens their toddler with; ‘Look at the woman. The woman will get you if you’re not good.’ The other day, whilst perusing the seed options available at my local Lidl, a gum-chewing brute brushed past me, apologising half-heartedly as her John Player Blue-stained fingers gently grazed my coat. ‘That’s ok,’ I smiled, or so I thought, hoping to appease the Methadone-deprived Banshee of Darkness. What happened next was worthy of a Mastodon video and equally as dark. ‘Look at the face on her,’ the kelpie shrieked as bottles of cheap balsamic vinegar began to shatter from every corner of the Cork Street store. ‘But, but, I’m smiling,’ I whimpered pathetically while abandoning my Chia seed mix, scarpering as fast as I could back to my ceilingless one bed terraced bijoux box.
THE DIY JEAN-PIERRE BRAGANZA SMOKEY EYE
I have come a long way from my days of wearing blue eyeshadow, blue hair mascara, blue glitter and blue anything. My beauty regime is much less obvious, much more rigorous. I have learned to accept my flaws, or in other words, mask my features within an inch of their lives with lashings of makeup and skincare. The goal is to make myself as featureless as possible and to always stand in the most blinding of lights so it appears that my signature hook looks much less imposing. I have to be tempted towards the camera by having a Pez dispenser sellotaped to the top of the lens and the photographer offers me gentle reminders every few minutes that after the shoot, I will be in an Elysium of saccharine dreams. And as much as I adore wearing my signature MAC Ruby Woo lipstick, when paired with a smokey eye, I can end up looking more Steven King’s ‘It’ than the vernacular cool girl ‘it.’ I’ve attempted here to recreate this look from Jean-Pierre Braganza minus the false lashes because I feel like a contestant on Ru Paul’s Drag Race when I wear them, which now that I think of it, is actually quite amazing.
These are the products I used to re-create this smokey eye runway-inspired look.
Estee Lauder Double Wear, Desert Beige, €37.50 here.
Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Skin Perfecting Micro-Powder in Fair, €42 here.
Chanel JOUES CONTRASTE Powder Blush in Innocence, €38 here.
NYX Jumbo eyeliner in black, €4.99 available at Sam McCauley Chemists here.
MAC Haute & Naughty Waterproof Lash Mascara,€24.50, available here.
Makeup Forever Aqua Brow in 15, available at Makeup Forever, Clarendon Street.
MAC Pigment in Silver Fog, €24.50 available here.
Rimmel Exaggerate waterproof liquid eyeliner, €7.29, available at pharmacies nationwide.
Giorgio Armani The Runway Rouge D’Armani Sheer Limited Edition, €45.00 here.